Growing up is a journey indeed.
On the journey to adulthood, you will meet hurdles and obstacles. One of such is low self-esteem; the lack of confidence in who you are, what you can do and what you’ve accomplished.
Some of us went through it and came out stronger while some found it so difficult to handle.
The Oxford Advanced Dictionary defines self-esteem as “a feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities”.
Also called self-worth, it’s a state of being confident in yourself, your achievements and everything that concerns you. It’s one of those things that represent you as a person.
Most children want to be popular, while others just want to be in the background achieving their dreams; whichever group you represent, the world wants to see you achieve your dreams.
Your self-esteem will tell in achieving your dreams. It could show low self-esteem or high self-esteem. High self-esteem is the best gift you can give yourself.
On the part of low self-esteem, it simply shows off your self-doubt. Low self-esteem comes with issues, most children will most likely have it as they grow.
It is something everyone has dealt with at a point of their lives. As puberty hits or after puberty, when your bodies start to change, you will start experiencing psychological changes and feel uncomfortable adjusting to this change.
Nothing to be scared of, it happens to everybody. This will also create the gap of not being enough.
You will wish you were more like your peers or even their peers. You will wish you got more from parents. You will wish you had someone who will listen and judge you. You will wish you were tall or short, fair or dark; or fat and slim! You will wish and just keep wishing!.
You will find it difficult to make new friends and keep old ones, while comparing yourself to your peers in negative manners.
Causes of low self-esteem
A significant cause of low self-esteem among children is academic difficulties.
This is a learning situation where you cannot successfully acquire knowledge and, at the end get below your expected grade goals.
It is usually traumatizing when you’ve stayed all night to get high grades, have no-nonsense parents, need promotion to the next class or you applied for scholarships.
Most of these academic difficulties are caused by slow learning, parents not always available, lack of experience on the teachers’ part, negative friends’ influence, poor learning infrastructure, etc. Whichever one you fall in, don’t give up yet.
Other things that could cause low self-esteem include: sexual, physical or abuse from parents or elders, bullying from classmates and friends, moving to a new home, moving away from a loved one, etc.
Your first call of help should be your parents. Most times, your parents won’t notice all this because of their busy schedule. Sometimes, they will see it as a normal phase of life and do nothing about it. It’s sad because they can’t see it the way you do!
The people you admire on television had their own share of low self-esteem as children. Many have shared their stories and how they overcame it.
They were able to get over it, so you will.
How to deal with low self-esteem
Talk to your parents. If your parents are unavailable, talk to an elder you trust. It could be your favorite school teacher, school counsellor, church member, aunt or uncle.
Although be careful not to fall into the hands of the opposite sex and strangers.
You can write yourself a letter appreciating yourself for getting high grades in your favorite subject(s) at school.
Keep a diary of all the good things you love about yourself.
Help with house chores at home and help out friends that need help. This makes you feel useful, you will good for helping out.
Read books on high self-esteem. Spend time doing what you love the more.
Separate from friends that look down on you and never appreciate your efforts. Wear clean and decent clothes every time.
A child with low self-esteem will end up feeling lonely and isolated most times.
It won’t be easy to deal with but you will be fine. And when you finally do, don’t let anyone come to you to bring you down.
Remember whatever you go through won’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.