The act of raising children is a big deal! This is because it is what shapes a child’s future or mares it.
I know you must have heard that “Education is the key to a bright future” and I’m sure you immediately assumed education to be school related only, right? But the truth is, education begins and ends at home.
How a child is groomed and raised will determine his or her productivity, usefulness, and relevance in the long term. It will also determine his or her academic excellence and progress in the short term. In other words, the training at home will determine if a child will listen to the teacher, do homework, get good grades, attend a university and get a degree.
It will determine if the child can get and maintain a job, establish a business and raise a family. It is very crucial, hence should not be left to chance. It is based on these facts that scientists have researched and have discovered the four parenting styles. I’ll like to share them with you.
Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parents are all about their rules and obedience to them. In the authoritative parenting style, the child is not heard. His or her thoughts do not matter. They either adhere strictly to instructions or face punishment, most of which are severe.
The authoritative parenting style is not ideal because the child continually lives in fear of making mistakes because of the harsh punishments attached. This in turn makes them unable to think on their own and decide what to do. Children raised in this way are very obedient and keep to rules and regulations but they also tend to be good liars because they rather deny their mistakes and avoid punishment than own up to them.
With this type of parenting, the parent rarely knows what the child is thinking and who he or she meets outside the home. There is little or no parent-child relationship.
Authoritarian Parenting Style
In the authoritarian parenting style, we see a parent or parents who set rules and enforce those rules while still making room for the thought process of the child. Authoritarian parents will explain why a certain order was made and why it should be kept.
The parent does not relent in giving punishments for disobedience however, he or she listens to the child’s opinion and makes adjustments where needed. This parenting style has been acknowledged by scientists, researchers, and psychologists as the best parenting style so far.
This is because it builds parent-child relationships in a way that the child does not just consider the parent to be a friend but a mentor and a leader. With this parenting style, the parent(s) keep tabs on what the child is up to and the child, on the other hand, is better able to think on his or her own and decide what to do even when the parent is not around. The child develops strong self-esteem and is better able to lead.
Permissive Parenting Style
This is the parenting style that says “children are always children, what can I do?” The parent or parents set rules but do little or nothing to enforce them.
The parent is very lenient and allows the child to have his or her way often. Even when punishment is meted out, the parent easily lets the child off the hook once he starts crying or acting like he/she is sorry. This type of parenting encourages a parent-child relationship but in a way of friendship unlike in authoritarian parenting.
The child sees the parent as being his/her peer. This is because the parent encourages the child to express his/herself without giving any meaningful input. The parent only listens but does not try to correct, teach or guide the child into making a good decision. This parenting style is harmful as it produces children who are not able to perform well in school but are very mischievous. They are also prone to poor health and bad hygiene.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
The uninvolved parenting style shows a parent who doesn’t give attention to the child. He is not harsh, he is not soft, he is not just there. It could be a result of addiction to drugs or alcohol or maybe the parent is just too busy.
Whenever the child needs the parent/parents, they’re not just there. The child grows on his own without guidance or direction. He or she adopts whatever society throws at him. He or she becomes open to all kinds of vices. He or she develops very low self-esteem and gets very poor grades.
A child raised this way will find it difficult to maintain a job, handle leadership positions or run an establishment. He or she will find it difficult to raise and adequately cater for a home.
Now, that we have seen the four parenting styles and their effects on children, which of them do you discover that you have consciously or unconsciously adopted, and in what areas can you make adjustments?
We may have a better world if we can become intentional about parenting. I’m not going to become one-sided and rule out the environment.
Accept it or not, the environment in which a child is raised influences the overall growth of the child. So while we raise children with the most effective parenting style we should also look out for the type of environment we find ourselves in. We can only do our best and pray that God will do the rest.