Bad Memory – the thread that connects the pieces of our life to unpleasant thoughts.
Staring into the eyes of my best friend Joan, I knew that I had flopped big time. I could hear hushed bouts of laughter from all over the class. Everyone was trying to cover their mouths but their facial expressions were glaring to the eyes.
I felt deflated. My emotions had taken the best of me and I vowed never to represent my group in any class representation.
Is this you? Have you experienced this before? This is just the tip of the iceberg on the list of bad memories plaguing our existence.
A bad memory can be a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one or a marriage that ended in divorce. A bad memory can also be a course that you failed in school or an interview that you didn’t proceed to the next stage.
It can be difficult to move on from these bad experiences if conscious steps are not taken. As humans, our minds always focuses on the negative traits, eager to sweep the positive ones under the carpet.
That is why you find it easy to notice what’s wrong with your outfit when you look at your reflection. Notwithstanding, you can still change the narrative by taking the necessary steps to rewire your brain and mind to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Bad Memory: 5 Effective Steps to Let Go
1. Change Routines
You wake up each day, take a walk for 20 minutes then proceed to have a hearty breakfast while gossiping with your spouse. If you just got a divorce, try taking your breakfast at another part of your home.
Changing your routines can also mean starting a journal if you never had one or trying out the practice of meditation. Challenge yourself to do something different from your regular stuff.
You can go the extra mile by moving to a new city or changing careers.
2. Forgive Yourself
Most times, we find it easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. You replay that scene over a thousand times in your mind, asking yourself what you could have done differently to change the outcome.
Sorry to burst your bubble but reliving these situations doesn’t do you any good. No matter the wonderful idea you come up with, you can’t rewind the time to relive that moment.
Forgive yourself and let go. Talk to yourself as you would a child who failed a subject at school. Encourage yourself to get back out there and live.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel Those Emotions
Consider this scenario, you have a roommate who leaves dishes unattended in the sink for days. You are annoyed by this attitude but delayed sharing your frustrations with the said roommate.
You return home from a hectic day at school and like a tap whose head got broken, you lash out at your roommate. Taking a run at all his/her annoying habits. This is synonymous with what happens when you try to suppress emotions you felt from having a bad experience.
Cry your heart out if you want to. Talk about the issue to a trusted friend till you are satisfied. Let it all out and free your mind from the shackles of this bad memory.
4. Engage in Mindfulness
Be mindful of your thoughts, be mindful of the not-so-little things you do daily that remind you of that bad memory. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones and enjoy the present like it’s the only time you have left on earth.
Reconditioning your mind to see and think positively is the way to go if you want to let go of that bad memory.
5. Try Therapy
You don’t have to walk through the healing process of a bad experience alone. You can engage the services of a professional therapist or engage in group therapy.
If you prefer having one on one sessions then personal therapy is for you. On the other hand, if you are comfortable sharing your story with a group of individuals, you can try group therapy.
Conclusion
Our journey on earth can’t be filled with rosy experiences as one or two thorns like a bad memory will be in the bouquet life gives us.
The thorns including a bad memory shouldn’t keep us down but give us the courage to get back on our feet as stronger and better individuals.
This can be achieved by forgiving ourselves, practising mindfulness and using other insightful tips to change the narrative surrounding the bad memory.
Read here, 5 Strategies to Boost Your Memory and Retention Ability.
