Jealousy is a controversial subject that can neither be termed good nor bad without examining underlying factors.
It can hardly be determined in black and white. This is because it is quite a complex emotion where every party involved is subjected to their opinions and tends to have a reason for their action.
Now, is jealousy a proof of love or a bad attitude? The answer to this question is; yes and no.
Without further ado, this article will highlight the reasons we think there is no concrete response to answering this question. So, let’s dig in!
Jealousy — A Proof of Love
In most relationships, a moderate amount of jealousy is considered as a response to caring deeply about the other party involved.
This is usually referred to as mild jealousy. When you love someone, there is a certain fear of losing them that frequently ruminates in the mind.
As a result, a certain degree of jealousy may occur as a protective mechanism. Jealousy as proof of love indicates that the relationship is valued and both parties are in mutual agreement to maintain their emotional connection and exclusivity.
It arises as a result of emotional investment in a relationship. Hence, the fear of losing a loved one may trigger jealousy, especially, when your partner closely interacts with others.
In romantic relationships, many people desire a sense of exclusivity and security.
Therefore, if a partner becomes jealous of certain actions like flirting with others or spending too much time with them, it could originate from the desire to make sure that the relationship remains special and intimate.
Furthermore, mild jealousy can arise as a result of the need to seek reassurance from your partner.
When jealousy is expressed with these intentions — in a healthy way, it opens up communication about boundaries and the role of each person in the relationship. Also, it allows you and your partner to reinforce your commitment to one another.
These are various ways through which your feelings can be interpreted positively. However, you need to ensure that they don’t escalate into more extreme or irrational behaviours.
Moderation is key and crucial in ensuring that your jealousy remains a signal to nurture, maintain, and better the relationship. Always note that the intent and expression of your feelings matter a great deal.
So, be careful because there is a thin line between mild and extreme jealousy.
Jealousy — A Bad Attitude
The moment jealousy goes overboard from the occasional and mild discomfort that you feel to aggressive behaviour, the narrative changes.
At this stage, it is often viewed as a toxic and destructive feeling that must be eradicated. Excessive jealousy stems from deeper issues within the relationship or the person affected.
Some of the popular causes of this type of feeling include lack of trust, insecurity, and emotional dependence among others. People who lack confidence or are insecure in themselves and their abilities may experience a more intense feeling.
This happens because they feel threatened by the attention that their partner receives from others. In this case, they misinterpret such harmless scenarios as threats.
Thereby, leading to extreme feelings of inadequacy and causing major issues and strains in the relationship.
In addition, excessive jealousy is also associated with distrust. If an individual constantly doubts the loyalty of their partner without a just cause, it can lead to a toxic scene.
Usually, the jealous individual constantly monitors and controls their partner’s behaviour. This often leads to frequent accusations or suspension, all of which lessens trust and keep pushing the couple apart.
When jealousy is unchecked, it can rapidly turn into possessiveness. In this case, you feel entitled to control your partner’s actions and interactions with others.
This can further lead to monitoring, restriction of social activities, and even isolating your partner.
In extreme cases, this can lead to emotional and even physical abuse.
When all of these are experienced in any relationship, there is a tendency of emotional exhaustion. This affects both parties in that, the one experiencing jealousy feels constantly anxious, while the other may feel unfairly accused, suspected, and suffocated.
At the end of the day, this can lead to resentment and frustration.
The Need to Find a Balance
Any healthy relationship is usually based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. As humans, it is inevitable for feelings of jealousy to appear. However, it is your responsibility to swiftly acknowledge and constructively deal with it.
Once jealousy is used as a tool to control or guilt trip the other person, it is no longer love. It becomes toxic and can harm both parties if an intentional solution like seeing a counsellor is not immediately implemented.
You need to;
- Talk openly about what makes you uncomfortable with your partner because addressing jealousy directly often reduces its power.
- Understand the root cause and reflect on it.
- Be committed to making each other feel secure and valued and to offer constant reassurance.
Final Thoughts
Usually, jealousy is an indication that you care about your partner. However, it is crucial to understand and recognize when it spirals into something much more unhealthy. Excessive monitoring or possessiveness is not love. Instead, love is built on trust and mutual respect rather than on fear of loss and control.
Ensure that you find a balance that works for you and constantly talk to each other about how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. Talking things out and clarifying disturbing emotions always help to solidify relationships. So, find your balance.
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