Crooked nose, imbalanced lips, bad skin, pockmarks, double chin, and stubborn braid – these are flaws that we try to conceal with the aid of the mirror.
Humans are wired to use the mirror as a tool for correction, to fix all the things that they perceive as “not good enough”, observing problems only and ignoring all that is good about them.
Selimbegović and Chatard argued that exposure to mirrors increases the occurrence of suicides, and that the casual placement of mirrors actively lowers your self-esteem.
In a strong effort to exacerbate this problem, man has decided to carry around a social mirror, reflecting people that are not capable of evaluating their own “cognitive, emotional and behavioral processes” without considering a peer’s interpretation of the same process.
Therefore, it forces people to self-validate based on societally approved standards, therefore repudiating thought processes that could raise their own self-esteem.
This explains why when beauty was slim, we all aimed to be sticks and now that BBW is beautiful, plastic surgeons are raking in millions.
There are number of times we have disparaged the Evil Queen in Snow White for her insensibility and perverse need for validation from a magic mirror, her crazy jealousy, and disgust towards the person she was whereas we do the same: we disparage what we have for lips like Kylie and body like Kim, waists like Yea, these are “standards” that we force to define our worth.
Hence, we are met with shame and self-rejection when we fail to meet them, not to mention the subtle jealousy that comes with someone achieving the said standards.
In a way, this mentality nurtures the evil Queens in our own hearts, it breeds perverse creatures fighting to be perfect and more, comparing and hating whilst losing sight of the beautiful beings they are, bringing to ruin, the parts of them that are unique and outstanding in its own right.
Therefore, look in the mirror today and praise your eyes, your nose, your teeth, your skin, your shape, your size and accept that you are beautiful and nothing can take that away from you, so own it and wear it proudly.
Next time you look into the mirror, you say “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, I am absolutely fine”.
Opor… Nice story.. make mirror no break ooooo😂😂😂😂
This is really interesting, quite the read Imani, love it; however, a person’s desire to change oneself is driven by much more than just comparison don’t you think? Say I don’t like something about myself, the problem is my own perception. The “societal mirror” is simply an idealised standard I have as comparison. At the end of the day even if there was no standard to compare with, the problem still remains that I don’t like that thing about myself. Plastic surgery for aesthetic reasons was done by someone first before others. At then end of the day how you’re treated because of your differences, your mental well being, your peers, your beliefs etc all affect how you perceive yourself. Surrounding yourself with people that love you for you, being careful with what you put your faith in and filling your mind with inspiring things goes a long way in loving yourself for who you are. If you still don’t like something bout yourself, there’s no harm in “fixing” it, you just have to be confident in who you are and who you want to be.
Also comparison could breed better things than jealousy, like motivation to become fit, to live a healthier life style and to build discipline.
Change brought about by comparison simply means admitting oneself or something was not good enough which ends up demeaning a person’s self esteem and whilst it sometimes brings about positive changes, it also makes people unable to appreciate the persons they were before the change