Motherhood in your 40s Nigeria is no longer a rarity, and a personal essay now gives the trend a human face. Writing for BellaNaija, Uwaezu Kanu describes raising young children in her 40s, a stage at which her own mother was enjoying a quieter life.
Her account lines up with national figures. The Demographic and Health Survey data show Nigerian women marrying later and women aged 40 to 49 being the only group whose fertility is rising.
Motherhood in your 40s Nigeria: a different timeline
According to Kanu, when her own mum was around 40 or just past it, her children were already at university, so there was room in her schedule for friends and outings. Her experience of motherhood in your 40s Nigeria is far removed from that picture. She writes that she is busy feeding hungry kids, helping little ones at nursery age with their numbers and letters, and losing the battle over bedtimes.
Her mum, she explains, wed straight out of secondary school, since going to university was not regarded as essential then. That made her a young mother with plenty of energy, and she had house helps and extended family around her. Kanu has neither her mother's youth nor that kind of assistance, and she says her aching back proves it. It is a reminder that motherhood in your 40s Nigeria looks very different from what the older generation knew.
What the NDHS numbers show
The wider data on motherhood in your 40s Nigeria support her point about timing. The 2024 survey found a median age at first marriage of 19.8 years for women aged 25 to 49 and 28.9 years for men aged 30 to 59, according to BusinessDay. For women, the figure was 16.9 years in 1990.
Wealth plays a part in motherhood in your 40s Nigeria too. Reporting by BusinessDiary.ng notes that women in the highest wealth quintile marry at a median age of 24.9 years, against 16.7 years for those in the lowest.
On fertility, Dataphyte, drawing on the 2023 survey, reports that women aged 40 to 49 are the only age group where fertility is climbing, while rates fall in every younger group. It attributes the rise to delayed marriage, as women pursue education, careers and personal growth.
Money, distance and a missing village
Kanu names the economy as one cause. She says a number of men she was at school with, now in their 40s, have abandoned the idea of marriage because the cost is beyond them. BusinessDay reports that higher living costs, poor earnings and shaky job prospects are leading young Nigerians to put off having families.
It also cites National Bureau of Statistics figures showing that informal work makes up about 93 per cent of employment. Many workers therefore lack predictable income or pension cover. Economist Muda Yusuf of the Centre for the Promotion of Private Enterprise (CPPE) says easing inflation does not automatically bring relief, because logistics and energy costs and insecurity keep prices high.
Support networks have also worn thin. Kanu writes that japa has scattered relatives far from one another, and that even those who remain in Nigeria find it hard to get together because travel costs so much. She says paid help has left her without cover before.
Health risks and the cost of help
Dataphyte says pregnancies in the 40s carry higher risks, including miscarriage, gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia. It adds that access to fertility diagnostics and high-risk obstetric care in Nigeria is limited.
Medical help is expensive. The same report puts IVF at between ₦1.3 million and ₦2 million per cycle, which makes it largely inaccessible for most women. It cites CDC data showing success rates falling from 36 per cent for women under 35 to about 6 per cent for those over 42.
Fertility timing matters as well. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says female fertility declines more sharply from about 32 and drops significantly after 37, with natural conception becoming rare by the mid-40s.
The case for waiting, and Kanu's advice
Kanu does not paint motherhood later in life as nothing but a weight. She argues that older mothers are often more grown-up, surer of who they are and more deliberate when picking a partner. She adds that being financially secure can relieve the pressure of simply getting by and make it possible to hire trained nannies from respected agencies.
She also notes that women aged 35 and above are more likely to conceive fraternal twins. Advanced maternal age is defined as 35 or older, and UCHealth points out that most spontaneous pregnancies in that group are still singletons.
Her practical advice is to look after body and mind:
- Stay active, keep to a well-rounded diet, and make protein and fibre a priority.
- Book yearly check-ups with an OB-GYN.
- Take vitamins, especially folic acid, and cut added sugar.
- Sleep at least eight hours a night.
She also asks women not to be swayed by scaremongering online, and says there is no shame in needing medical support. While waiting to begin a family, she suggests, women should make the most of life and travel if they can afford it.
She makes no prediction that the trend will turn around. In her essay, she argues that women are now becoming mothers later in life, and that this shift cannot be undone, so the questions of affordable care, childcare and support for families remain firmly on the table.
