How do you feel when someone gives you an unsolicited advice? Irritated? Angry? Flustered?
First of all, let us define what it means.
Unsolicited advice refers to advice that is offered without being requested or when it is not necessary. It entails receiving information, advice, input, or suggestions from others that you didn’t ask for or are unwarranted at that particular time. This often happens when people meddle in the affairs of others. As a result, these privacy invaders offer unnecessary and inconsequential recommendations.
Sometimes, unsolicited advice can happen when someone is not in your shoes and do not know where it pinches. They have this pressing need to give their opinions about your situation or comment about it and it can come from anyone; your family, spouse, friends, parents, not only strangers.
Dealing with unsolicited advice can be a bit challenging as it often leaves you torn between ignoring the advice and expressing your thoughts about it. This can lead to feelings of irritation, shame, or judgement. However, it is important to handle such situations with both politeness and assertiveness.
How do you handle such a situation if you ever find yourself in it? Below are six effective strategies for addressing unsolicited advice:
1. Listen Actively
Of course, this will be hard to do especially when you just want to do away with that kind of person. However, being open-minded helps you see “sense in their nonsense.”
When someone offers unsolicited advice, start by actively listening without immediately reacting. This shows respect for their perspective even though you know you could do without it.
2. Say “Thank You”
At times, you might not feel the need to be polite, especially when you didn’t request their advice in the first place. However, to avoid escalating the issue, you could just thank them for their input and quietly walk away.
Begin your response with a polite acknowledgement of their input. Say something like, “Thank you for sharing your thoughts.” This has a greater chance of ending the conversation and putting one in their place without being rude or violent.
3. Assess the Advice
Once you have actively listened to their advice and offered a passive or impassive thank you for their input, take a moment to reflect on what you’ve received. Consider whether there is any merit in the advice. Even if you didn’t solicit it, there may be a valuable nugget of wisdom hidden within.
4. Express Your Perspective
You have heard them, now it is time for them to hear you out. Share your perspective politely and calmly and explain why you may or may not be interested in or follow the advice given. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I appreciate your input, but I have a different approach in mind.” Eventually, no one is offended or spoken to with disrespect and everyone’s perspective is understood. Communal growth is also fostered.
5. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are one of the most important principles in people’s lives. People should know what you like, what you joke with, words you are comfortable with, and so on. If the unsolicited advice continues to become intrusive, politely but firmly set boundaries. Speak up. You can say, “I value your opinion, but I’d like to handle this on my own.” This makes them respect you and your principles.
6. Change the Topic
If the unsolicited advice is unwelcome and persistent, you can redirect the conversation toward a different topic or subject entirely that interests both parties. This can help shift the focus away from the advice and avoid unnecessary arguments.
Conclusion
Unsolicited advice can be seen as invading, unnecessary, and impolite. However, to maintain healthy relationships, remember that it should be handled politely while also asserting your autonomy, principles, and boundaries. It is essential to balance being respectful and firm in expressing your preferences and decisions.
Researched by Aduloju Oluwatoyosi Afolabi.
