Do you feel like everyday is a struggle to get through? Have you ever really felt caught up and nothing seems to make any sense? Have you been in a position where you feel that the next day isn’t going to be better than the present one?
Have you felt so hopeless that you think there’s absolutely no reason to go on? Nevertheless, we should always remember that problems and heartaches in life are inescapable.
Anguish and distress can be caused by a host of things. We are in the period of socio-economic recession, a time of retrogressive standard of living, an interval of perils and precariousness of lives and properties, a state of looming abject poverty and decreased hope for future betterment.
In the midst of all these, it becomes a possibility for some of us to be shot into a deplorable condition of anxiety, apprehension and utter misery. Anguish, gloom, discomfort and despair become the order of the day.
However, it is important to know that anguish as an emotion can not be compartmentalised, it influences adversely on other aspects of over lives.
For instance, when setbacks in business, or work place, or when the death of a loved one cause us to be depressed or despondent, we may consciously or unconsciously project these negative feelings on other aspects of our lives like our relationship with people, or our self and social development or any other facets of our whole existence.
How then can we combat these feeling of forlornness?
What To Do To Feel Happy Again
When everything goes wrong in life and you feel there’s nothing else working in your favour, you may want to give up and stop living. But you can’t, you won’t. You have to find happiness again, you need to start living again. How then can you do that?
Let’s review some few steps:
- Let your emotions out: When dealing with pain, misery and hardship, it is imperative to let your emotions out. Cry if you will, get angry, shout, you can even break things if that will ease your pain. DO NOT HOLD BACK ON YOUR EMOTIONS. Many are of the opinion that “crying makes you weak.” That is a blatant lie! Or that “men do not cry.” Which again is a fallacy. Contrary to widely held beliefs, shedding tears detoxifies the body and makes one feel great relief. Do you know what bottling up or repressing all that emotions will do to you? The feelings will keep accumulating, and you will explode some day. So, let out your emotions first, only after that, should you continue with the following steps.
- Practice breathing exercise: Breathe… When it seems you’ve hit rock bottom and have nothing else to look up to, just breathe… Breathing as ordinary as it may sound is a powerful tool in regaining your sanity. Just free your mind and breathe. You can write the word “breathe” on a piece of paper, and paste it on vantage points in your home, or engrave the word in your subconscious. That way whenever you feel it slipping your mind, you can always remind yourself to breathe. For even though it feels hopeless today, the days will be brighter someday. You can only get through the bad times if you BREATHE.
- Remember that this too shall pass: Nothing is ever permanent in this life. Great times, awful times, nothing in this life stays the same, ever. It is just the basic rule of life and nature. The only constancy is change. So, when business is bad, or you lose your job or loved one, or your relationship is going downhill or you’ve lost your will to live, remember none of those conditions are permanent. Always have it at the back of your mind that the tide will always turn for good, and until then, please keep living and taking life’s step one at a time.
- Keep your focus on what you can control: When you’re downcast and hopeless, it becomes a good time to set your attention and time on what you can actually control. Contemplating and chewing yourself up over something you can’t control (e.g the death of a loved one) will further leave you distraught. However, focusing your mind on things you can actually control and working towards them, will give you a sense of importance and progress. This is the time to find something you are very good in. Maybe writing or drawing or constructing new things or even reading. These will go a long way to lift your spirit.
- Do not beat yourself up: Be gentle with yourself. This isn’t the time to torture yourself with blames and whatnot. Remember life is replete with ups and downs. Sometimes, you may feel the cloudy days are beginning to lift, that a breakthrough is impending, and then all of a sudden, you’re back to where you started – to square one, worse than before. Calm down, that’s perfectly ok. Just remember to keep breathing and live life one step at a time. A permanent breakthrough will definitely come.
- Focus on the positive: When filled with misery and pain, we tend to focus only on the negative side of things, forgetting completely, the good side, no matter how little it may be. Remind yourself always that some things are going well in your life. Then purposely search for those things. It can be that you still have loved ones who care deeply about you and would love to help you out, please do not shut them out, let them in completely, bare your frustration and fears to them, they are most likely to help you out. Your silver lining can be your intellectual prowess. Great! You can utilise this skill in writing about your ordeal. Trust me, writing about your situation gives you a sense of relief and comfort.
In all, we shouldn’t allow despair to swallow us, we should be ready to fight it with everything we’ve got. This shouldn’t be a time to give up on life or have suicidal thoughts. It is rather a time to fight and crawl your way back up with dignity and self-awareness.
You will look back on your gloomy days and smile.
It shall be well, I promise.