Marriage is beautiful but staying in marriage is amazing. Do what works for you and your partner. In any way you can assist each other, do it and stay happily married.
As a hardworking man, I am so passionate about life, work, religion and social activities.
I love and adore my wife so much because she has brought me nothing than joy, success, peace and harmony and the joy in me each time I remember that she is the mother of my children, has no bounds.
I know with her, their future is secured. We are happily married for 7 years and blessed with three adorable daughters and one son.
Growing up, I always pay attention to my surroundings, for I always want to be pace setter. So I pay kin attention to my environment and ask questions about relationship, marriage, religion and life in general.
I find answers to most of my questions while some were responded to reason because I believed that I am too young for such questions.
I noticed that my mother was a very strong woman who never complains about anything or questions my father.
Anytime he gives order, she worships him like her maker and encourages us to do so because he is the head of the family. I have never seen my father help my mother in house chores, buy her gift, appreciate her when she does anything good, take her out, let alone consult her while taking any decision.
If my mother wants to travel to the village or to any church program, she will take me and my sister (of blessed memory) to her friend’s house while she prepares varieties of dishes and freezes them for my father, with pleads for him to microwave them anytime he is hungry.
Despite all that she experienced daily in her marriage, she never complained, little did I know that she was enduring all these because her hands were tied.
I got to know that my grandparents were not in support of her marrying my father, but she was carried away by love and vowed never to turn back, she got married to him and noticed that all that glitters are not gold, that my father was living a pretentious life.
Going back was not an, so she decided to embrace her fate and trust in God.
That was all she shared with me a night before my wedding, she entered my room and requested to have a quiet time with me, she urged me to always practice all that she was about to tell me.
My son, marriage is sweet, fun, lovely, kind and peaceful, if you settle down with the born of your born. Settling down with your father was a mistake and regression I will live with for the rest of my life and I will not be alive and watch my daughter in-law pass through all I experienced in my marriage. My son, taking care of the family is not the work of your wife alone, you both are team players and together, you will achieve a lot within a short time.
You and your wife are government earners, so leaving all the chores for her to do when you can actually assist in one way or the other is wickedness. I know you always asked me all these as a child, but it will be ill of me if I ever mentioned it to you that your father failed as the head of the family; it will change your orientation about marriage and life generally which I never wished for you.
You are a promising young man full of ambitions and aspirations and I do not want my failed marital experience to affect your reasoning, all I need from you is to promise that your wife will enjoy you and not to endure you as I did with your father. Always see her as your partner and not your slave, communicate with her and let her always be the first to know whatsoever that is going on in your life, remember, she is now part of you and you are part of her, she is not perfect neither are you but when you work closely with her, compatibility and understanding will be yours.
Sincerely, I cannot appreciate my mother enough for her advice and words of encouragement, tears were rolling down to my chest, hearing all that she sacrificed for my future, I cannot imagine what my marriage will turn out to be if I had followed my father’s footstep.
Appreciate and value your wife, encourage and give her all the support she deserves, no one is perfect but there is always room for change and adjustment. Consult her before taking decisions, pay attentions to her body language and stop being self-centered.
Dear men, before you allow her to do all the house chores, ask your mother if she was happy doing everything all by herself without your father assisting her, ask her if she enjoyed her marriage or endured her marriage, ask her if you were to follow your fathers footstep in raising your own family, will she call you a fulfilled father or a failed father?
Don’t marry because you are lonely but marry because you are ready for marriage is worth enjoying especially when you put in the right attitude.
