Read Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland Online

54

CHAPTER IX. THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY 

'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess, 'Everything's got a moral, if only you can 
find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 

Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was 
very ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin 
upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did 
not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. 

'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the 
conversation a little. 

' 'Tis so,' said the Duchess, 'and the moral of that is - "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, 
that makes the world go round!" ' 

'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding their 
own business!' 

Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp 
little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral of that is - "Take 
care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves." ' 

'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself. 

T dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the 
Duchess said after a pause, 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of 
your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?' 

'He might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have the 
experiment tried. 

'Very true,' said the Duchess, 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the 
moral of that is - "Birds of a feather flock together." ' 

'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. 

'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess, 'what a clear way you have of putting 
things!' 

'It's a mineral, I think,' said Alice. 

'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything 
that Alice said, 'there's a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that 
is - "The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours." ' 

'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, 'it's 
a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.' 

T quite agree with you,' said the Duchess, 'and the moral of that is - "Be what 
you would seem to be" - or if you'd like it put more simply - "Never imagine 
yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you 
were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have 
appeared to them to be otherwise." ' 

T think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if I had it 
written down; but I can't quite follow it as you say it.' 

'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied in a pleased 
tone.