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57

CHAPTER IX. THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY 

These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occa- 
sional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon and the constant heavy sob- 
bing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank 
you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there must be 
more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 

'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though 
still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to school in the sea. The master was 
an old Turtle - we used to call him Tortoise - ' 

'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. 

'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily, 
'really you are very dull!' 

'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' 
added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who 
felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 
'Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: 

'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it - ' 

T never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 

'You did,' said the Mock Turtle. 

'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The 
Mock Turtle went on. 

'We had the best of educations - in fact, we went to school every day - ' 

'I've been to a day-school, too,' said Alice, 'you needn't be so proud as all 
that.' 

'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 

'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music' 

And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 

'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. 

Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone 
of great relief, 'Now at ours they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, and 
washing - extra." ' 

'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice, 'living at the bottom of the 
sea.' 

T couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh, T only took 
the regular course.' 

'What was that?' inquired Alice. 

'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied, 'and 
then the different branches of Arithmetic - Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, 
and Derision.' 

I never heard of "Uglification," ' Alice ventured to say, 'What is it?' 

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of ugli- 
fying!' it exclaimed, 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'