The Road of Life.
This was the narrow, slippery, slimy, greasy, crooked river road at Kufi, sloped right in front of the St. Andrews’ Church building through a region of forests hemmed with tall palm trees and the giant araba, straight onto the village stream. It was a lonely road – a road apportioned to widows.
The road was muddy, especially at dawn, hence it was easy for one to lose stamina. It was not for the short-tempered, easily agitated, self-conceited, proud or impatient, as it was very easy to fall flat with one’s chest hitting the wet ground, never to be able to get up again until a farmer who is returning home from a hard day of work, would lift one from behind the tall tree by the roadside.
The road was also described as a ‘special road’. Why? Because if you flatten your feet while walking, you will slip and fall on your behind; if you tiptoe, you’ll fall and if you run? We all know what will happen if you try running on such a road. The trick to easy passage was steady steps – walk small, small with your eyes fixed firmly on the road till you get to your destination and back.
On that road, widows were allowed to grieve, sing songs of sorrow till their hearts’ content, raise their voices till their throats hurt, shed tears, and laugh hysterically. On this road, widows were joined with a common sense of loss – loss of dignity and status. They were also joined by their black garments, which they wore down to the ankle like a harem of devotees. They had one conversation on topics of common interest each time they found themselves on this lonely road.
The widows had not danced in a long time. They realised this when they heard the loud speech of a talking drum from a neighbouring village. As long as they were in that state of mourning, wearing that garment, they could not dance. After conversing, they’d return home with their filled water pots with a heavy mind.
Lonely Days: Let’s Peer into the Lives of Some of These Widows
A widow, Dedewe, used to cry all night as she remembered the horrendous pressure that was placed upon her after her husband died. She was asked to confess beside the corpse of her husband. She did nothing, but she was asked to confess the true cause of her husband’s demise.
Dedewe was traumatised when her husband died. She was locked in a dimly lit room with the corpse because she refused to confess to crimes she knew nothing of. She wept and wept some more because, after all, she was innocent. Would they like her to confess to a crime she knew nothing about?
The second widow, Fayoyin, was asked to lick libation when her husband passed. She was a sinner who needed purging. This libation was to purge her of all her sins. Not only that, she was summoned before hateful people, who sprinkled water on her hair, called a barber who scraped her hair with a sharp “crocodile nacet” blade. After the barbering, her appearance changed. Fayoyin looked lost, empty, naked. She wept for a long time, which caused her to lose her voice.
Radeke, the third widow, was coerced to sing traditional songs before the corpse. She sang a song of lamentation stating that she would have followed her husband. However, the people thought this a lie and suspected Radeke.
In a town full of people, these women were truly alone. They were sentenced to a life of loneliness. If you haven’t read the book Lonely Days, it’s a must-read also check out the summary of chapters one and two here.
