The thought of going back to school and being bullied is always devastating and scary.
I was one of the smartest and most talented kids in my high school class.
So I became the focus of attention, and the majority of my classmates flocked to me to learn from my wealth of knowledge, while others attempted to annoy the crap out of me because they were intimidated by my intelligence.
I was just transferred from my previous school to my current school, so, typically I was the new girl.
When I arrived, I noticed Sarah was top of the class, she was loved and envied because of her brilliance. But when I came, the tables turned. I became the most intelligent girl in my class and my school by extension.
As a result, I gained the admiration and envy of my classmates. However, when I noticed Sarah’s sudden hatred for me, I didn’t need anyone to explain why she felt this way.
She has been wearing the crown because it fits her, and it fits whoever wears it. I won’t apologize for being the smartest when I’ve always been the best because it fits me better now that I’m here.
I’m the quiet type, I love my space so much, and I hate and run away from drama (trouble). I would say they are my weaknesses and at the same time my strengths, it all depends on what you are leveraging on, but for Sarah, she had to leverage on my weaknesses; she became a bully. She practically insults me at every slightest opportunity she has.
When it first began, I didn’t pay much attention, but with time it developed into a daily ritual. In public restrooms and when I was by myself, she physically harassed me.
Additionally, she verbally harassed me by constantly saying hurtful and derogatory things to me.
I was also bullied emotionally. She was able to persuade other of her friends and classmates to hate me, it became gang bullying. I was becoming a shadow of myself.
“Should I stop being the best? Should I plead with my parents to change my school? Should I report her to the school authorities? Should I confront her and end this bullying?”
These were the thoughts running through my mind when I got home after I got bullied again by Sarah and her group.
Come to think of it, these are kids of the same age range even though they might be older than me by a year or two.
We attend the same school and are in the same class, I’m even doing better academically than all of them. Should I then allow them to belittle me; condescendingly talk to me, make me feel worthless, and make me feel I don’t deserve to be the best? No! Never again. I’m gonna put an end to this, I concluded.
That evening I made up my decision.
The next day in school, the bullies came to eat their prey, not knowing that their prey had turned into a predator overnight. I confronted them quietly but fiercely. They were shocked. I bet you could see the surprises on their faces.
“Where did she get the guts to talk back at us? And even defend herself.” When they all go back to their closest, I know that’s what they’ll say.
Well, I know that was just the beginning of the end of them bullying me. I knew they were going to come back, so I was prepared. The confrontation continued until they all backed off. That was how I was able to resist and overcome my bullies.
Years later, fate brought Sarah and me together. It happened that she came for an interview in the company I’m working for, though I wasn’t the one interviewing. But I had power over the interview.
That she knew of.
After the interview, she approached me. “Good afternoon Jennifer.” She greeted me. “Good afternoon Sarah,” I responded.
I could see the fear in her eyes and regrets as well.
“Jennifer, this might be coming a bit late, considering the circumstances we met. I want you to be open-minded and to know that it’s not because I’m in a vulnerable state. Hence my apologies.
“I’ve been looking for you to apologise for making your high school a terrible one. I was just feeling insecure. Jennifer, I was the center of attention and attraction until you showed up and took that away from me. I became resentful.
“The only way I could feel better was to make you feel bad. I regret all of my actions. Instead of accepting the reality in front of me and learning from you, I became a bully. If I could go back, I would do it right this time. I’m truly sorry, Jennifer.” Sarah apologised in a remorseful way.
I was speechless, but at the same time happy. I hugged her and accepted her pleas. I went as far as securing the job for her.
Sarah became a voice for those being bullied, she went from school to school, to community, and to church gatherings to speak against bullying and how to resist a bully. I did the same too, I also used my experience to encourage others that are being bullied.
How To Resist Bullying
At school, in churches, in homes, community, and even among friends bullying is becoming a popular trend.
Younger ones are bullied by older ones, and persons unable to speak for themselves, etc.
According to research, the effects of bullying include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, insecurities, suicidal thoughts, fear, physical illness, poor academic performance, and mental illness.
There are so many reasons why people bully others, but the most dominant ones are insecurities, supremacy, and sovereignty, they wanna be loved and be the attention.
There is a probability that you will experience bullying if you are the best, beautiful, intelligent, creative, smart, strong-willed, and disciplined. But then, how do you overcome bullying when it shows up?
Below are simple but effective ways to resist bullying.
You will always have rivalries if you are the best at what you do, and many of these rivalries may wish to go the cowardly route of bullying.
Knowing this, would prepare your mind and as well help you to overcome being bullied.
A strong spirit is an overcoming spirit. When you are resilient nothing can break you.
Your bullies will stop when they realise that their behavior is not having an impact on you. They bully you because they want to control you and make you feel worthless, and when you don’t feel the way they want you to, their goal is unsuccessful.
Be emotionally and mentally strong
The effects of bullying can be inevitable at times, but you just have to be strong, regardless. As long as their bullying doesn’t get into your head and mess it up, it’ll be a waste of time for them.
One of the best ways to resist and overcome bullying is in your ability to confront your bullies. Their aim is always to break you, and they think you can’t stand up for yourself.
The day you do, you all become even. You no longer become their prey.
Picking on someone just because you’re bigger or smarter than them is immature and ignorant, and bullying is never a healthy thing.
Being happy at the expense of another person’s suffering is wickedness.
Finding contentment through trying to project your insecurities, fears, and loss is not the ideal strategy.
Don’t use your words or your actions to make other people feel small, weak, and unworthy.
Parents also educate their children on the consequences of bullying.
As they say, charity begins at home. Most bullies are a result of failed parenting, and a lack of love and affection; love your children and speak good of them.
READ ALSO: Children Special: How To Stop & Prevent Bullying